Milestones

So lets talk milestones. Love them or hate them, they’re always there and there’s no escaping them. The maternal health nurse constantly talks about them and I mean constantly like to the point they should really be called maternal milestone nurses. The constant questions of how many words can they say? Are they able to use a sippy cup yet? Crawling? Walking? Seriously it never ends.

Which usually it would be fine. Why wouldn’t you love to be able to say yeah little Jimmy is saying 5 word sentences, not only walking but he actually prefers to skip while tapping his head with one hand and rubbing his tummy with the other oh and he prefers to just drink straight from the 3 litre bottle of milk instead of using a sippy cup.

But what about if your kid wasn’t like little Jimmy? What if your kid has a developmental delay or was a premie or just damn right lazy (let’s face it why would you want to be using all that energy crawling around when some pretty lady with your lunch attached to her chest will carry you around?)

The worst thing you can do as a parent is compare your kid to others kids but unfortunately that’s all medical professionals do and I get it, its their job.

Parents of kids who aren’t reaching those milestones have the feeling of worry and that sinking feeling you get when they pull out that graph to show you where your kid should be for their age.

My oldest son has a condition called Microcephaly where his brain is extremely small and grows tiny amounts a year. I would always dread that paper measuring tape they would pull out every time at the Pediatrician and health nurse because most of the time it hadn’t grown at all in 6 months and even if it had it was the smallest amount. They would then go ahead and show us on the graph where he was. That dreaded graph that shows the average kids head size. His head was off the chart but not in the good way, right at the bottom of the page literally off the chart was our sons’ straight line with the tiniest incline (you know that tiny incline you set the treadmill on at the gym because good old Karen next to you has her treadmill set like she’s training to tackle Mount Everest next week and you don’t want to look weak)

Mums do it too though, they don’t mean to but at most playgroups or Wiggles book swap meets(I may have made that last one up) you’ll most likely hear the old ‘Is he walking yet?’ ‘Mine was an early walker at 9 months’

I get it though. As a parent everything your kid does since being evicted from your womb makes you beam with pride. I’m the first to admit, when they do that first crap on the toilet… I wanted to set off confetti cannons and belt out the lyrics to Katy Perry’s Firework but I didn’t. Well maybe I sung just the chorus of Firework, but I didn’t do the cannon thing (apparently you need a permit).

What I’m trying to say is when your kid isn’t reaching those milestones around the times your told they should, you feel pretty crap.

As a young mum at 21 I’m not going to lie, it definitely got to me watching everyone else’s kids thrive. They were all walking and talking long before my son did. When he did walk it was way more special though. The doctors told us he may not ever walk from the brain damage so when he did walk, we didn’t care if it was 16 months, 25 months or 3 years, he walked.

We may have waited a few more years than most parents to hear our kid say the alphabet or say his what he wanted to eat but I kid you not when the day finally came that he could say ‘Mummy you look beautiful in that dress’ and’ Daddy I want to be just like you when I grow up’ none of the waiting mattered. I mean sure there was that time he told me I looked like a handsome man wearing that belt but hey take what you can get with kids ok.

My youngest never crawled and didn’t walk until he was 2 (doesn’t sound that bad until I tell you I had three bulging discs in my back from carrying 10 kilos around on my hip all day)

Most kids can write their name by the time they start prep. Mine couldn’t but we were ok with that because we knew they eventually would. Last week was week three of prep for my boy and for the first time he wrote a letter, the letter ‘S.’ And oh my god…. that feeling when I saw it..that’s a feeling I want to bottle up and sell because that’s a feeling everyone needs to experience.

If you take anything away from reading this blog let it be this.

No one asks you when you go for a job interview questions like what age did you walk? or how many words could you say at age 2.

No one cares how you start the race, its how you finish that matters.

xx BB