Ups and downs

The ups and downs are exhausting.

What I mean by ups and downs is the times where life is going smooth (ok maybe not smooth but at least crunchy). You know, pleasant with a few rough bits. When something has just clicked.

I’ve cried many happy tears before when things have been working with Mase. It’s such a relief when you feel like everyday is a battle and then it stops long enough for you to catch your breath.

But then out of no where *Bam* Meds stop working or are not working as effectively anymore, a change in routine has set him off or something. Whatever it is..life isn’t crunchy anymore..the whole bag of peanuts has hit the fan. You feel like you’re right back where you were before.

I find the summer school holidays do that. It’s so hard to keep routine when we want to do different things everyday or myself or Josh are working so the boys go to a holiday program or their grandparents.

We have had a pretty rough time these past couple of months and it’s definitely broken us a few times I’m not going to lie.

Before Christmas things got so bad that I took Kaeden to my in laws one afternoon after an incident with Mason to let him get away and cool off. When we went to leave he broke down and didn’t want to go home. It absolutely broke me.

I felt like I had failed as a parent not making my kid feel safe in his own home.

I let him stay there the night which killed me but I knew I had to just let him have some space.

He’s such an amazing kid who is so resilient.

He understands that his brothers brain works differently to his and that he doesn’t mean to do or say the things he does.

March we see a new paediatrician which is a huge relief.

We’ve waited months for this appointment so I’m hoping for something positive to come from it or just a different perspective on everything would be helpful.

Great news!!! Next week Kaeden will be 1 year seizure free. I can’t believe we made it. It’s a good feeling to have come full circle after such a scary time. It took a little while to get the right help but I feel we have a really good Neurologist on our side.

Congrats on making it through the summer holidays Mums and Dads. Now to poke cotton tips up our kids nostrils and send them back to school.

BB xoxo